


Stripped Down to Our Skeletons Again

by punk_rock_yuppie



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-TWS, light on romance heavy on angst and feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-03-10 07:31:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3282128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punk_rock_yuppie/pseuds/punk_rock_yuppie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Steve and Bucky meet again, Bucky looks so broken that Steve feels his heart break and crumble in his chest. Bucky is thin, emaciated, dirty and bruised and absolutely destroyed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stripped Down to Our Skeletons Again

**Author's Note:**

> Here it goes--my first time writing Stucky. Let me know what you think!

When Steve and Bucky meet again, Bucky looks so broken that Steve feels his heart break and crumble in his chest. Bucky is thin, emaciated, dirty and bruised and absolutely destroyed. His metal arm is bent out of shape and hangs limp at Bucky’s side. His lips are fat and swollen, as are his eyes. Steve’s eyes focus on every single little cut, bruise, scar, spatter of blood. Steve feels weak on his feet for the first time since the helicarriers fell.

They are in an abandoned warehouse. There is debris and dirt and wreckage strewn around them; the building is half collapsed with huge holes in the walls and ceiling. While there once might have been a floor, it seems to be only dirt they walk on now.

Bucky startles Steve by falling to his knees. Bucky lets out a wretched noise, one that is hoarse and bloody and sounds like something so precious has died. Bucky begins to wail wordlessly, his flesh and bone hand clenching at his side; Bucky’s face is turned towards the sky as he screams. Steve watches his whole body shake, watches as Bucky wears himself out.

  
What scares Steve more than anything is that they haven’t even fought, Steve showed up and Bucky did— _this_. Steve had come prepared to take down his best friend, hopefully keeping him alive, and bring him back to the real world. A soft but harsh voice in the back of his mind tells Steve that Bucky found his way back alone and this is the result:

A broken and battered man and mind.

Steve approaches slowly though Clint and Stark and Natasha are chattering away through his earpiece, telling him to stand down. Steve finally yanks the piece from his ear and tosses it to the side. By the time he stands before Bucky, the sobs and screaming have softened to dull, pained whimpers. Steve drops his shield to the side as well, and then cups Bucky’s face with his hands.

The whimpers slowly cease, and eventually Bucky looks up and meets Steve’s eyes. Bucky, silently, mouths _Steve_ as he stares. He looks confused, as though he can’t quite believe what he’s seeing. As though it’s not real, and he’s being punished.

“Buck,” Steve feels his throat go dry and his eyes begin to water. “I’m here, Bucky. I’m here.”

Another soft cry falls from Bucky’s lips. He lurches forward and wraps his arms, even his metal one, around Steve’s legs. Bucky cries fat, wet tears onto Steve’s suit and Steve simply holds him. Steve strokes his fingers through Bucky’s hair and wipes off the smudges of dirt or dried blood as he sees them.

Eventually, Steve sinks to his knees as well and pulls Bucky close in a hug. Bucky clings to him and smears dirty, bloody fingers all over Steve. Faintly in the distance, Steve’s abandoned earpiece screeches with numerous voices. Steve just holds Bucky, holds and breathes in his presence again.

After who knows how long, Steve pulls back slightly to cup his best friend’s face. Steve’s enormous hands cover Bucky’s stubbly jaw and he draws a thumb over the cuts in Bucky’s lips. Steve feels the tears in his eyes finally cascade down his face, and he’s almost surprised to see tears pour from Bucky’s eyes as well.

“Steve.” Bucky whispers. His gaze falls to the ground again and they both watch their tears fall and land, starkly bright, against the dirty floor.

“I’m here, Buck.” Steve presses their foreheads together; he grips Bucky’s face and he’s probably holding on too hard, too rough, his gloved fingers digging into his best friend’s skull. Digging in, as if he can break through Hydra’s hold and bring Bucky—the old Bucky—back. “I’m here.” He says again. He’ll say it a million times until Bucky listens, until Bucky believes him.

Bucky lets out a shuddering breath. When he meets Steve’s eyes again, something isn’t right but it’s not wrong either. Steve can see the Bucky he used to know, all blue eyes and warm charm. But he can also see the darkness that is eating his friend alive, he can see Buck’s instincts storming beneath his eyes— _kill kill kill_.

Steve kisses Bucky’s forehead first, then his eyes, each of his cheeks, his nose and his chin. He avoids Bucky’s mouth, not because he wants to but because he’s afraid of Bucky’s reaction. Steve loosens his grip on Bucky’s face and instead trails his hands to rest comfortably on the nape of Bucky’s neck. Steve stares, and stares, and stares until Bucky seems able to hold his gaze.

They don’t say anything—what could they possibly say? But Steve feels as though they speak volumes to one another through touching and looking alone.

“I wanna go home.” It comes out as a harsh croak; it’s the most Bucky has said so far and Steve cherishes every word. “C-can we?” He asks.

Steve knows that his best friend is not magically going to be the good ol’ Bucky Barnes he used to know. Steve knows that Bucky may be gone forever. Steve knows the darkness lurking inside his friend and knows what that darkness will bring. It’s not going to be easy, and Steve has no delusions it will be.

Steve nods. He takes Bucky by the shoulders, gently, and pulls him to stand. “Let’s go home, Buck.”

Bucky leans on him, and Steve can feel how thin and weak he is. He wants to carry Bucky; it reminds him of saving him from Austria, from Zola. He wants to carry Bucky now just as he wanted back then. He doesn’t, though. He simply does his best to take as much of his friend’s weight as possible.

)

By the time they get to the others, Steve is practically carrying Bucky anyways. Along the way, Bucky began to nod off and slipped deeper and deeper into sleep as they walked. It wasn’t even that long of a trek, but Steve isn’t surprised.

While he’s sure Nat and Tony would love to yell at him, they at least have the decency to stay quiet. They look pissed about it, but they don’t say a word about it.

Clint does sign, _you’re an idiot_ , and boy doesn’t Steve know it.


End file.
